Letting go of control is not easy.  One of my three words for 2020 was release; another movement and my third is voice.   As I write this I see how they are coming into existence much like words in previous years have.

Since my BRCA2 diagnosis I have been floundering — spiritually.   The Reformed Spiritualist Church was a labor of love for so many, including myself.   I am not quite sure where I lost my passion for it.   This health journey I have been on with all these preventative surgeries has its part to play.   I am sure that the church being based in Niagara Falls and myself in Rochester is another part.  In many ways it is just because I am changing and growing in a different direction — Spiritually.   Nothing seems to fit and the harder I hold on to things the more confused and stressed I am.   I am letting myself and others down.   For that I accept my part in this.

Yesterday, with heavy heart, I stepped down as President.    I can’t hold back the direction of the church while I am sidelined recovering from a third surgery.   The recovery is taking more out of me than I have wanted to admit.   I can’t do it all.  Spirit has made that quite evident and I must respect that and do what I can and let others lead the way in areas that I cannot.   My floundering wasn’t helping and I needed to do something to assist everything to move forward.

What is next?

I am pretty sure that my ways to serve will appear, but for now I must take care of myself.   It will be May before I will be back to full strength.   Until then I am going to be gentle with myself.  I am going to spend time just being a patient.   I am going to be grateful that I was able to get ahead of this and take control of my health.   In the end, I have reduced my risk for Breast Cancer to less than 5% and I have changed my health habits so that I can live a long and healthy life.   Back in February 2019 I was told that I had an 85% chance of Breast Cancer — I was terrified.

I am no longer afraid and finding it easier to let go.  There is a lesson there, when you release something from your life there is a space that opens up and opportunities present themselves to you.   Letting go is your key to freedom to find joy.

Rev. Colleen Irwin
Reverend Colleen Irwin is a Spiritual being having a human experience as a Blogger, Wife, Mother, Mentor, Healer and Public Speaker living in Rochester New York. Colleen, a Natural Born Medium, teaches, lectures and serves Spirit when called upon. She remembers speaking with Spirit as a child and learning how to share this knowledge with others has been an adventure that she captured in her book “Discovering Your Stream”. Colleen has been mentored by Reverend Jack Rudy, and ordained as a Priest in the Order of Melchizedek by the Reverend Dan Chesboro through the Sanctuary of the Beloved. When she is not doing her Spiritual work she is a volunteer docent sharing Susan B. Anthony's history to visitors of the Susan B. Anthony House in Rochester. Her trust in Spirit gave her a new title – PREVIVOR. She now uses her platform to educate others about the BRCA genetic mutation and how one can take control of their health and well-being.
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