Rev. Colleen Irwin

Protecting Your Energy Without Shutting Down

Protecting your energy is essential for anyone on a spiritual path. Learning how to do this without shutting down your empathy can feel like a delicate balance—one I want to explore with you here.

When Empathy Feels Like Too Much

I once gave a message in circle where I could feel the sitter’s grief before she said a word. It landed in my chest like a stone, and I had to remind myself to breathe. The message from Spirit was gentle—just a few simple words from her mother—but the moment felt enormous. Her shoulders dropped, her eyes welled up, and she whispered, “No one’s ever said that to me.”

We often talk about empathy like it’s always a virtue. And it is—but only when we learn to feel without drowning.

But deep-feeling presence like that can undo you if you’re not grounded in your own body and boundaries. For those of us walking a spiritual path, it’s easy to mistake absorption for compassion.

We often believe we’re being kind by taking on someone’s pain—but that’s not kindness. That’s collapse.

The Riverbank and the Sponge: A Metaphor for Healthy Empathy

It’s a metaphor I’m beginning to share more often, because it’s helped me so much.

Most sensitive souls start out like sponges—soaking up everything. The sadness in a stranger’s voice. The tension in a room. The anger that lingers in someone else’s silence. You absorb it all, then wonder why you feel heavy or scattered afterward.

But Spirit doesn’t ask us to be sponges. Spirit asks us to be riverbanks.

A riverbank doesn’t stop the water from moving. It shapes the flow. a  offers steady presence while the current rushes by. It can witness the river’s rage or stillness—but it doesn’t lose itself in either one.

That’s the invitation: to hold space without drowning in it.

Being the riverbank means:

• You feel with, not instead of
• You hold steady when others can’t
• You know what’s yours to carry—and what isn’t

The Balance of Compassion and Clarity

This isn’t detachment; it’s discernment.  And it’s not coldness—it’s the kind of clarity that lets you stay soft and strong.

If you’ve ever walked away from a reading, a conversation, or even a phone call feeling like you’ve been wrung out—this teaching is for you. Not because you’re doing something wrong, but because your empathy deserves structure.

You don’t have to shut down your gifts to protect your heart. You just need a firmer edge around your tenderness. And that edge? That’s the riverbank.  Protecting your energy doesn’t mean closing off your heart—it means holding your shape with love and clarity.

You are not here to rescue the river.  You’re here to hold the shape of love beside it.

If you’re ready to deepen your connection with Spirit and develop your mediumship with practical guidance, my book Guided by Spirit is here to support you. It’s a gentle companion for your spiritual journey—available now wherever books are sold.