Recognizing Weaponized Incompetence
Weaponized Incompetence: Recognizing It and Reclaiming Your Time
It’s 2025, and people still don’t understand what weaponized incompetence is and how insufferable it is to deal with on a daily basis. The bar is so low because we accept any effort as “trying,” even when it’s mediocre.
Have you ever found yourself doing more than your fair share—at work, at home, or in volunteer settings—because someone else “just isn’t good at it”? If so, you’ve likely encountered weaponized incompetence.
What Is Weaponized Incompetence?
Weaponized incompetence happens when someone deliberately does a task poorly or pretends they can’t do it so that someone else takes over. It often looks like a lack of ability, but in reality, it’s a strategy to avoid responsibility. Over time, this shifts an unfair burden onto the person who picks up the slack, leading to frustration, resentment, and burnout.
Where Does It Show Up?
This behavior isn’t confined to one area of life. It appears in relationships, workplaces, and even spiritual communities.
- In Relationships: One partner “forgets” to do chores correctly or claims they aren’t good at managing household tasks, leaving the other partner to do everything. A child may learn this from their parents’ interactions and repeat the behavior. This can appear in all sorts of relationships: parent/child, spouses, friends, and even child/grandparent dynamics.
- At Work: A team member consistently misses deadlines or does a half-hearted job, forcing others to step in and fix mistakes to maintain professionalism. It could be a boss not knowing how to do something so basic that they ask a subordinate to do it. You see it every day.
- In Spiritual or Volunteer Communities: Someone assigned to a simple task—like making coffee for a service—performs it so poorly that no one asks them to do it again. Others arrive late or neglect responsibilities, knowing someone else will step up to keep things running smoothly.
The Toll It Takes
The people who overcompensate often end up feeling exhausted, undervalued, and frustrated. They take on more than they should, either out of duty, frustration, or a desire to keep things running smoothly. Over time, this leads to burnout and resentment.
How to Address Weaponized Incompetence
Recognizing this behavior is the first step, but addressing it requires action:
- Call It Out Early – The first time someone does a task poorly, ask them to redo it correctly. Set clear expectations instead of silently fixing their mistakes. Make sure you have instruction sheets or standard operating procedures clearly written out. Add how long a task should take in them.
- Set Boundaries – You can’t do everything. At work, delegate fairly. In volunteer settings, accept that some things may not get done perfectly, and that’s okay. Do not accept this behavior in your relationships. It is a decision to disrespect you when someone chooses to do something poorly. It is important to remember that “no” is a complete sentence. If you feel you are being taken advantage of, say something and respectfully walk away.
- Resist the Urge to Overcompensate – If someone intentionally under performs, don’t automatically take over. Let them experience the consequences of their inaction. If everyone is complaining about how bad the coffee was, tell them Susie made it. If an employee doesn’t turn in a report on time, write them up. Your child doesn’t do their chores — they know the consequence of their lack of action. Your spouse doesn’t have clean laundry and they were to take care of it, it is their problem, not yours.
- Encourage Accountability – In teams or communities, create a culture where everyone is responsible for their part. If tasks aren’t done properly, address it openly rather than quietly fixing things. You are not responsible for everything—why do you feel the need to fix it?
Reclaiming Your Time
Weaponized incompetence thrives when no one challenges it. By addressing it directly, setting boundaries, and refusing to pick up the slack, you take back your time and energy. The goal isn’t to control others—it’s to ensure fairness and prevent burnout. The issue with weaponized incompetence was never about dropping the ball, but about effort and consideration—the attempts we make and how we address our impact.
Have you experienced this before? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts in the comments!
