The Man Who Changed the Temperature
Some people walk into a room and raise the temperature — not with noise or flash, but with warmth that radiates right through their arms.
Jack Rudy was one of those people.
I didn’t fully understand that at the time. I just knew that when Jack hugged you, something inside you settled. There was a solidness to him — the kind that made you feel, just for a moment, that the world had stopped spinning quite so fast. His hugs weren’t polite or obligatory — they were complete. Full presence, no rush, no distraction. Pure, unconditional love wrapped around you in the most human way possible. People didn’t just accept a hug from Jack — they sought one out, making their way across a crowded room just to find him.
I was one of those people.
What Had Gone Quiet in Me
What you need to know is that for a long time, I had been closed off to that kind of touch. Life has a way of shutting doors we don’t even realize are closed. I won’t go into the details here — that’s a story for another day. What matters is that something in me had gone quiet. And Jack, without ever making it a conversation, cracked it back open.
That is the quiet power of a great hug.
Why Hugs Actually Matter
Science will tell you that hugs matter. Research shows that a genuine embrace releases oxytocin — sometimes called the bonding hormone — which lowers cortisol levels and reduces stress. Even a twenty-second hug can shift your nervous system from fight-or-flight to calm. For women navigating the relentless demands of midlife, that is not a small thing. That is medicine.
But Jack wasn’t thinking about oxytocin. He was just showing up for people.
The Ripple I Didn’t See Coming
Here’s what surprised me. When George came back into my life — and that is its own story, thirty years in the making — I realized something had shifted in me. The woman who once kept people at arm’s length was now the one reaching out. Today, George and I hug throughout the day. Multiple times. It’s not dramatic or even conscious anymore. It’s just how we are together.
And I think Jack did that.
Because Jack didn’t just teach me how to receive a hug. He reminded me that I was worth one. From there, something rippled outward in ways I never anticipated.
As a medium, I close every reading the same way. Before the person leaves, I ask — “Can I give you a hug from your loved one?” Eight out of ten times, I watch something release in them. A sigh. A softening. Their shoulders drop and they breathe again, maybe for the first time in a long time. Other times they hold on for dear life.
And in those moments, I feel Jack hugging me back.
That is the legacy of one man who simply loved people well. It moved from him to me, from me to George, and now from me to strangers sitting across from me carrying grief they didn’t know how to put down. Jack is still hugging people. He just uses my arms now.
What We Still Say About Him
We lost Jack a couple of years ago. I still miss him. We all do. His wife Sheila and I talk regularly, and it never takes long before Jack finds his way into the conversation. She carries this loss with a grace that moves me — and I know it brings her joy to hear how much his hugs meant to people. How could it not? She loved a man who made the world warmer just by opening his arms.
When his name comes up in any room, it isn’t long before someone says it — he gave the best hugs. Not that he was brilliant or accomplished, though he was. The thing people return to, again and again, is his arms around them.
Think about that for a moment. When you are gone, what will people remember about how you made them feel?
Jack answered that question every single day, without a word.
Open Your Arms
Maybe you are reading this and something in you recognizes the closed door. The part of you that holds back, keeps a careful distance, isn’t quite sure you deserve to be held. I understand that more than you know.
This stress-filled world we are living in right now is hungry for connection. Real connection. We scroll, we text, we manage and cope and push through. But the body keeps score. It knows when it has been held, and it knows when it hasn’t.
No grand gesture is required. Nothing needs to be figured out first. Just open your arms — and sometimes, let someone else open theirs for you.
There is a version of you on the other side of that. I know, because I lived it.
Jack changed the temperature of every room he entered. Now it’s our turn.
For Your Journal
- Who in your life gives the kind of hug that makes everything feel a little more okay?
- Have you told them what that means to you?
- Is there someone in your world who might be quietly waiting to be reached for?
- What would it take to close that distance?
- Think about your own legacy of touch. What are you passing on?
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