What makes me different?

What makes me different?

I sit back and watch the struggle that many people experience in their relationships.   I have been pushed to the edge of my fear when it comes to relationships.

I have become strong and loving.  My life is happy because I faced my fear and moved forward.   In saying that I also know how difficult it is to do just that.  I remember being absolutely terrorized by it. 

Why was I able to face it?   What made it ok?  Because at the time I honestly did not believe my life would be happier by doing it.   In fact I was pretty convinced that my life was over.  That facing the fear would be the end.   And it was.  It was the end to the unhappiness, self loathing and control that others exerted over me.   It gave me the freedom to let go and find my own happiness.   Not hold on so tightly to the control that I believed necessary to survive.   
I am learning that each person must come to it on their own.   That they will make their own happiness or unhappiness by how they live their lives according to Natural Law.   Right now there is a lesson for me in watching this struggle.   That in some way I am to help others through this struggle.  
I still don’t understand what makes me different and open to the joy available to me now.  Other than I let it go; the need to control everything.  I am just glad that I able to recognize it and thank the Universe for all that has come into my life.   I have learned that I don’t have to prove my worth to someone — they will appreciate me or I should walk away.

What makes me different is that I accept that the Universe has a plan and I no longer fight that plan.  Everything thing I need will come to me at the moment that I need it.   I do not need to control the process.  Just be open to it coming to me.

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Rev. Colleen Kulikowski