In And Just Like That…, Carrie Bradshaw says goodbye to her apartment by gathering the most important people in her life. After dinner, she asks each person to name one thing they are ready to give up. A single word. The answers are simple yet powerful—fear, control, social-media, and old versions of themselves. These are the things that no longer serve them.
Earlier that episode, Carrie’s friend, Stanford, let go of everything that no longer served him. His surrender was not dramatic. It was intentional. He released with love, without resistance or demand. And just like that, he showed what it means to let go without needing certainty.
It is no coincidence that Carrie’s word comes last. She offers expectations. And just like that, the room shifts. What she releases cannot be seen, yet it carries weight. Her choice echoes Stanford’s surrender. Expectations are not loud, but they are heavy. Releasing them requires awareness, not performance.
Rules, Standards, and the Weight of Expectations
That moment lands deeply because expectations shape how we experience everything, including Spirit. We often carry them quietly, believing they guide us. In truth, they often manage us.
In my work with mediumship students, I teach the difference between rules, standards, and expectations. They may sound similar, but they serve very different purposes in spiritual development.
- A rule sets structure. “Spirit, please connect only when I invite you.” This protects your energy and establishes consent. It allows you to live your human life fully.
- A standard defines your spiritual environment. “I only work with Spirit in light and love.” Standards are non-negotiable. They reflect values and create safety, clarity, and integrity.
- Expectations, however, can quietly invite frustration. “Spirit should answer me now.” “I should be clearer by this point.” “This should be easier.” That single word—should—is heavy. It assumes authority over something sacred and relational.
Releasing Control and Trusting Timing
Spirit does not rush. Spirit responds with timing, not demand. When expectations go unmet, people often assume failure. They believe they are blocked or doing something wrong. Most of the time, neither is true.
Expectations can close the very door we hope to open. They pull us out of trust and into control. Rules and standards create healthy containers for Spirit. Expectations attempt to manage outcomes.
Mediumship is a relationship. Every relationship requires listening, patience, and humility. Releasing expectations does not mean lowering discernment. It means surrendering control over how and when Spirit responds.
Just like Carrie releasing her apartment, there is grief here. Expectations often hold dreams, timelines, and imagined certainty. Letting them go can feel like loss. Yet there is freedom on the other side. When expectations soften, curiosity returns. Trust deepens. And just like that, Spirit has room to respond.
Sometimes the most profound spiritual growth begins when we release what no longer serves us—and do so with intention. And just like that, I understand what Carrie meant. To release expectation is to step fully into trust—to meet Spirit not with demand, but with open hands and an open heart. That is the beginning of true connection.
