When Grief Comes to the Table
Grief comes in so many forms. As mediums, we often meet grief face-to-face. Sometimes, it doesn’t walk in the front door. It lingers quietly, unspoken, just beneath the surface—yet its presence is deeply felt. It’s not always spoken. Sometimes it shows up as silence, a clenched jaw, or tearful eyes that never quite meet ours. When a sitter carries profound sorrow, we meet them there—with gentleness, compassion, and presence.
Is It Too Soon?
One of the first things I ask when someone books a reading after a loss is, “Where are you in the process?” If the loss happened just days ago, I gently suggest they wait. Most people benefit from six months or more before connecting. Spirit doesn’t have a timeline, but our hearts need space to breathe. Trying to connect too soon can leave a person feeling more unsettled than supported. I’ve seen clients come in days after a loss, hoping for answers, only to leave more confused because they weren’t emotionally ready to receive what came through. It’s not about readiness to hear—it’s about readiness to receive.
Grief doesn’t always show itself right away. Sometimes it emerges years later, mid-message. I follow the sitter’s lead. I hold space. I allow the tears.
Spirit Shows Up to Heal
I trust that those in Spirit come forward with love, often showing themselves through a wave of warmth, a sudden sense of peace, or a shift in the room’s energy. These signs tell me they are present—not just to connect, but to help heal. They’re not here to reopen wounds, but to offer comfort and understanding. They meet the sitter where they are and offer what is needed in that moment. Sometimes that’s a message. Sometimes it’s a feeling. And sometimes it’s simply the deep, undeniable sense of not being alone anymore.
Support Comes in Many Forms
I gently suggest additional support—therapy, grief groups, or other healing resources. I keep referrals handy for every reading, because some wounds are best helped by professionals outside our spiritual space. Whether grief rises mid-session or lingers quietly from the start, I want to ensure that every sitter has what they need to walk their healing path with care.
A Story That Stays With Me
A grieving parent once came to me after an unexpected loss, one that could have been prevented. The details were private, but the sorrow was immense. Spirit came through gently but firmly, encouraging the parent not to stay rooted in pain, but to find a way to bring light from the darkness. The pain in the room was undeniable. Yet the message that came through was gentle but firm: don’t stay in the pain—find a way to transform it.
That message became a turning point—one that helped the sitter find renewed purpose, and reminded me of the sacred responsibility we hold in this work.
Tissues on the Table, Spirit in the Room
I keep tissues close, not just for the sitter—but for me too. If we cry, we cry. If they need to pause, we pause. I always let them know it’s okay to stop or continue, and that I’m here with them either way. These emotions are deep and sacred. They deserve respect.
Practicing the Pause
After delivering a message, I often go quiet. It gives the sitter space to hear it again, in their own voice—not just mine. That silence becomes sacred. It’s a pause where Spirit continues the conversation, often more powerfully than words can. In that stillness, emotions can settle—or rise up to be acknowledged with grace.
Grounding After the Reading
I always take a few moments after an emotional session to ground myself. A breath, a stretch, a small ritual to release the energy of the reading. It helps me reset before stepping into the next one. Because while I walk with Spirit, I’m still human—and I care deeply.
Grief is not a problem to fix. It’s a sacred process to honor. Each person walks their grief path differently, and as mediums, we’re there to accompany—not direct—the journey. It’s a sacred process to honor.
Have you ever felt overwhelmed with emotion during a reading—either as a sitter or a medium? How did you navigate it? Let’s talk about it.
