The fear of losing love... - Rev. Colleen Irwin

Fear of losing love is one of the things us human’s struggle with. I have been working since December as a Contact Tracer, one of the most rewarding thing I have done in a long time. In many ways it was a lifeline for me in the midst of all the worry. Suddenly I had a purpose, and I relished in it. No longer was I focused on the cancelled plans, the worry of the unknown or how this all affected me.

Today a light went off in my head as we are seeing a major reduction of staff later this week — the fear of losing love. Many of the Contact Tracers are struggling with the end of this project. A lot of it has to do with the fact that we are paid really well, but I honestly think I am not alone that it was a lifeline. There is a common personality trait in the people I work with. That is, so many of us work with unconditional love.

Let Go of Fear

It is not the potential loss of the job, it is the fear of losing love we experience in our daily tasks. We all knew that there was an end date to this project when we took the job. It has been how we watch out for each other and for those that we call to initially put on quarantine, check on daily during and happily release at the end of their mandatory quarantine. There has been so many warm exchanges, heartwarming conversations and there has been laughter.

Many of us have become instant friends with one another and we watch out for each other. Our job tries our patience as guidelines change, surges happen and we deal with those immediately affected by Covid-19 within their circles. Often we have been the lifeline to others during a scary time. I would have thought that there would have been more angry voices at the other end of the calls. It was out of the ordinary when it happened. And when it did happen our co-workers were there for us, supporting us.

Focus on the Love

This is what I will miss the most about this job when it is over. The coming together of an amazing group of people to help others in unprecedented times. Putting together of a system to help others and ourselves. I have gained some amazing friends in this process. My own confidence has flourished and I can honestly say I had a part in helping during a crisis and made a difference in this world.

In the end, we all have done something amazing and I want to thank my fellow Contact Tracing team for being part of my journey. The struggle we have is because we loved what we were doing. Right now we need to let go and trust that something else is coming in our lives that will fill that sense of purpose.

At the beginning of this year I picked Three Words — Bounce, Engage and Complete. I see them now, I bounced into action, engaged completely in what I was doing and now I am completing the process. Did not see the words working that way, but here we are. So; now, bounce it is…