Rev. Colleen Irwin

Teachers for a Season — and Lessons in Contrast

Not every spiritual teacher is meant to stay in our lives forever. Some walk with us for a season. And some—whether they realize it or not—show up to teach us what not to do. If you’ve ever had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right, you’re not alone. These moments, while painful, can be clarifying. Let’s talk about how to recognize when a spiritual teacher isn’t aligned—and why those experiences still hold value.

When The Only Way Is a Red Flag

Some teachers make bold claims—they say they have the answer, the only method, or that they’re specially chosen in a way no one else is. It might sound impressive at first, especially if you’re feeling lost. But true spiritual guidance opens you up—it doesn’t box you in. A real teacher doesn’t need to convince you they’re right. They help you remember that your own wisdom is already within.

Trusting Your Intuition Matters

And if a teacher regularly questions your intuition or downplays what you feel, that’s a signal to pause. There’s a difference between being lovingly challenged and being made to doubt yourself. I’ve seen this happen to beautiful, intuitive souls who were told they weren’t “ready” or “evolved enough” to trust their inner knowing. That’s not support—that’s control in spiritual clothing. When you start feeling uneasy, ask yourself: Is it what they said—or how they said it—that unsettles me? Sometimes, the tone or energy behind words can reveal more than the words themselves.

How Do You Feel Afterwards?

Another quiet clue? How you feel after you’ve spent time with them. Do you leave feeling expanded—or confused and drained? Good teachers might stir things up, sure. But over time, you should feel steadier, not shakier. Uplifted, not unsure. Your energy will tell you the truth, even when words feel slippery. It’s also worth asking yourself: Am I being overly sensitive, or is my intuition sending me a clear message? Sometimes our feelings protect us in ways the mind can’t yet explain.

Accountability and Integrity Count

Sometimes, a spiritual teacher avoids accountability. They may never admit mistakes, shift blame onto students, or use spiritual language to escape responsibility. You might hear things like, “You’re projecting,” or, “It’s your karma,” instead of a sincere apology or honest dialogue. But integrity shows in how someone handles their missteps—not in how many followers they have or how enlightened they claim to be.

Fear Is Not a Spiritual Tool

Another sign? Fear becomes the teacher. If someone uses fear to keep you close—fear of punishment, bad energy, or spiritual failure if you step away—that’s a misuse of power. You should never feel threatened into staying in a spiritual space. A good teacher trusts your path, even when it leads you elsewhere.

My Commitment to Safe, Empowering Space

That’s the kind of space I try to hold—for my students, my clients, and even my readers. One rooted in respect, honesty, and the belief that Spirit meets us where we are. I’m not here to be your guru. I’m here to walk beside you while you remember your own light.

Healing and Moving Forward

If you’ve ever worked with a teacher who didn’t honor your spirit, you’re not alone—and you didn’t fail. You trusted. That’s an act of courage. And sometimes, those experiences teach us the clearest lessons. They show us what we don’t want. They sharpen our discernment. They remind us to come back home to ourselves.

It’s okay to outgrow a teacher. It’s okay to leave. It’s okay to change your mind. The most important thing is to stay connected to what feels true for you.

Let your spiritual path be yours. Messy, beautiful, evolving. And if you’re ever unsure, come back to your body, your breath, and your own quiet knowing. Spirit lives there.

Ask Yourself:

• Have you ever stayed too long in a spiritual space that didn’t feel right?
• What helped you find your way back to yourself?
• What made you uneasy about a teacher? Was it what they said—or how they said it?
• Are you being overly sensitive to concerns, or is your intuition sending you a clear message?
• Have you been putting in the work to get the results you desire on your path?

Your story matters—whether you choose to share it or keep it close. You’re never alone on this path, so be gentle with yourself as you reflect and grow.