A Christmas for the Outcasts

A Christmas for the Outcasts

Today can be a hard day for outcasts.  For many, Christmas is a day filled with family gatherings, joy, and tradition. But for those of us who feel like outsiders within our own families, this day can be one of the hardest of the year. The absence of connection or the reminder of strained relationships can amplify feelings of loneliness and longing.

I’ve lived this experience—yearning for the closeness of a large, loving family, only to find myself on the outside looking in. While being a family outcast is challenging, it can also be a powerful source of personal strength and transformation. Through solitude, I learned to let go of what wasn’t working and build a life filled with love, connection, and joy.

The Pain of Being an Outcast

Growing up, I always felt like I didn’t fit in. My family was large—my grandparents had five children, and I was one of 17 grandchildren. Christmases at their house were bustling with 50 or more people, yet I never truly connected with anyone. Despite my efforts to belong, I was treated as a second-class citizen.  At least that is how it felt.

I held onto the vision of a big, loving family—Sunday dinners, holiday gatherings, and unconditional support. But the reality didn’t match the dream. The good memories, like moments with my grandmother, were overshadowed by the bad. Eventually, I had to break away and learn to depend on myself. It was hard, but necessary.

Finding Freedom and Strength

Moving away gave me the freedom to start living as my authentic self. Yet, I still found myself pulled back into the family dynamics. My parents held a strong influence over my life, and it wasn’t until their passing that I was truly able to break free.

When my father passed, I began building the relationships I have now. And when my mother passed a few years later, I was finally free of the expectations she had for how I should live. That freedom allowed me to connect with my husband, George, and together we’ve created a life that brings me true happiness.

Outcasts Overcoming Loneliness

One of the hardest parts of being a family outcast is the loneliness. I yearned for the life I imagined—a huge extended family coming together for holidays and Sunday dinners. Letting go of that vision was incredibly painful. But I learned to focus on the present, to live in the moment, and to be grateful for the blessings I do have.

By shifting my perspective, I began building something new. The family I envisioned may not exist, but the life I’ve created is filled with meaningful connections and joy.

Turning Solitude into Strength

Solitude is not something to fear—it’s a space for growth and self-discovery. Here’s how you can turn being an outcast into a source of strength:

• Live in the Moment: Let go of regrets about the past and worries about the future. Focus on what brings you joy today.
• Count Your Blessings: Gratitude shifts your mindset and helps you see the good in your life.
• Build New Memories: Find new ways to create connection and meaning, whether through a chosen family, friendships, or personal rituals.
• Let Go of What Doesn’t Work: Release the vision of what you thought your life would be. When you do, you make space for something better to come in.

If you can be happy alone, living in the present moment, you’ll stop feeling the weight of being an outcast. Instead, it will become a source of strength and resilience.

A Message of Hope

Letting go of unworkable relationships and expectations isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Once you release what doesn’t serve you, something magical happens: the right people begin to fill your life in ways you never thought possible.

This Christmas, if you’re feeling the weight of being a family outcast, remember that you are not alone. Love can take many forms, and hope can be found in the small, quiet moments of the day—a message from Spirit, a connection with a trusted friend, or even the simple act of showing love to yourself.

The holidays are an opportunity to reflect on the life you’re creating. As you let go of what doesn’t work, you open the door to a future filled with love, connection, and joy. Wishing you peace and the strength to embrace the magic that awaits you.