Don't Create Swirl - Rev. Colleen Irwin

Swirl in Life?

Unless you are creating something artistic, swirl is not a good thing. Recently in three aspects of my life people have created unnecessary swirl. Creating problems and conflicts where there were none in the first place. Synonyms include agitate, churn, and stir. Recognize it in your life?

Each instance of swirl has come from an outside source not familiar with the situation and in the guise of “helping”. Reality is they want to insert themselves as the hero. They have the solution, the answer and if everyone would just do it their way everything would be perfect — for them. Therein lies the problem. When people need help, most times it is not in the form of you solving the problem your way, but help in a way that they desire.

Family Swirl

One of the hardest forms of this to deal with is family related situations. This is especially true as our parents age. They need help but they are stubborn about it. So you end up twisting your life about because you have fears for their well being and safety. They see it as an intrution and pit family members against one another. The chaos that esues has everyone unhappy. Why can’t it be easier? That is just one example of family conflict that can happen. Then there is the family member doing the least tell you, who is doing everything, that you are doing it all wrong. And when you ask for help you get a laundry list of your failures instead of that person doing the simple thing you asked. Problems also arise when not everyone is on the same page about what to do. There is always someone who has their head in the sand about the situation.

Work Swirl

Let’s face it we spend a majority of our time working. We all have that one work collegue that can’t stay in their lane and just do their job. They have to put their nose into everyone else’s responsibilities and are quick to point out problems and solutions that are not really the best for the situation. That isn’t the only kind of swirl that happens in the workplace, the person that asks endless stupid questions in a meeting that doubles the amount of time it takes. Then there is the chaos that happens when someone just doesn’t do their job and everyone else is scrambling.

Social Swirl

This can take place in a multiple aspects of your life, but most often it has an element of out of your family and work. For us it is always in church setting. Spiritualist Churches are great at this and the resulting bullying, arguments, jealousy, and chaos makes me shake my head. This why I have not joined a Spiritualist Church. I love attending, but the minute you join watch out! The same can go for psychic fairs and spiritual centers. I have seen several friendships come and go because of this. For awhile I thought it was something I was doing. Step away and it continues you are reminded that Spiritualism attracts broken people. Broken people in charge of things is never a good idea.

How Not to Create Swirl for Others

It is easy, mind your own business. Do your own thing. If you wish to offer assistance, ask what you can do. Listen to what is needed and if you cannot do what is requested that is okay. If you see a problem don’t offer a solution for someone else to implement. If your sister is taking care of your father and she is overwhelmed, offer to take something off her plate so she can have a break. Caretaking is difficult. Respect that.

Same goes for social situations. You have a charity that needs a fundraiser and you have a great idea, off it up as an idea with a plan to implement it. Take it on and run with it. Don’t create more work for those already overwhelmed with the running of the charity.

Work is full of challenges, don’t add to someone else’s plate. Ask if they need help. Again, listen. Sometimes people just need to say something out loud to see the solution. Be the courageous leadership that leads the way with clear communication, commit to accountability and clarity in strategic vision. To be honest it can go for all aspects of our lives.