Connecting Authentically with Sitters as a Medium

Today I want to talk about connecting authentically with a sitter. As a medium, the heart of your work is connection. In my development circle, we often discuss how readings become more difficult when you don’t mesh or relate positively with your sitter. It takes more than just setting the intention for the highest and best; we must do our part as well.

Authentic connection opens the door for spirit communication to flow more freely. Authentic connection means being fully present, open-hearted, and engaged with your sitter. It’s about building trust, listening deeply, and creating a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their emotions.

I recall a reading where my sitter was initially hesitant, crossing her arms and offering short answers. Instead of pushing forward, I took a moment to acknowledge her feelings, reassuring her that whatever emotions arose were welcome. As I spoke gently and validated her energy, she gradually softened, and spirit communication began to flow more easily. This shift demonstrated how establishing trust and presence can transform the reading experience. Here are some ways to foster that deeper connection and build trust during your sessions.

Be Present and Grounded

Before a session, take a moment to ground yourself. Breathe deeply, center your energy, and set the intention to serve both spirit and your sitter. Let go of what may be bothering you and, most importantly, clear yourself of any lingering energy from a previous reading if you are doing back-to-back sessions.

A simple way I do this at psychic fairs is to eat a Life Saver. The sugar and the mental catch of a Life Saver ground me into the moment I am entering. Another helpful technique is to place both feet firmly on the ground and take a few slow, deep breaths, visualizing roots extending into the earth. Holding a small grounding stone, such as black tourmaline or hematite, can also reinforce stability and focus.

Each medium may find their own method that works best, but having a consistent grounding ritual helps clear previous energy and prepare for the next session. The sugar and the mental catch of a Life Saver ground me into the moment I am entering. Presence allows you to remain calm and receptive, enhancing the quality of your connection.

Lead with Compassion and Empathy

Sitters often arrive with a range of emotions. As mediums, we facilitate healing, but not everyone is in the same place emotionally. It’s essential to be aware that your sitter may not be ready to hear what you are about to say. During the initial part of the reading, be prepared for the emotions that may flow. Meet them with compassion, listen actively, acknowledge their feelings, and create a safe space where they feel supported.

Let Go of Expectations

While it’s natural to want to deliver specific messages, staying open to what spirit presents ensures authenticity. This is where the highest and best intention is golden. Spirit’s definition of the highest and best for the sitter is often different from what the sitter wants. They may hope to hear from Aunt Betty, but instead, Grandpa Tom comes through. There are many reasons this happens, including what is best for you as the medium. It doesn’t make the experience any less meaningful, just what is best in that moment–for everyone. Trust that what comes through is what your sitter needs most. Validation often comes in the most unexpected ways. It is important to remember it may be hours, week or even months before what you share will make sense. Have trust in your connection. Sometimes you are only planting a seed.

Communicate Clearly and Honestly

If you receive symbolic or unclear information, describe it without fear of being wrong. Mediumship is a two-way conversation, and your sitter’s feedback can provide clarity. Things that make absolutely no sense to you may be exactly what the sitter needs to hear to validate the spirit for them. It’s okay to say, “I am not sure about this, it is not clear to me, but I am seeing…” You don’t need to know any more than that it makes sense to them. If it doesn’t, just let that information go, ask them to keep it in mind for the future, and move on. Reset yourself and start again. Embrace transparency, as it builds trust and invites deeper connections.

Honor Vulnerability

Both you and your sitter are engaging in a vulnerable experience. Acknowledge the courage it takes for someone to seek a mediumship reading. They may arrive with hope, fear, sadness, or even skepticism. As a medium, your presence and ability to hold space without judgment are essential.

Respect their emotions and allow them to feel whatever arises. Healing often begins the moment a sitter feels truly seen and heard. One way to ensure this is through active listening—giving them your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and nodding or offering small verbal affirmations like ‘I understand’ or ‘That makes sense.’ Reflecting their emotions back to them by saying something like ‘I can see this is really important to you’ helps them feel validated. Gentle encouragement, such as ‘Take your time’ or ‘You’re safe to share here,’ also reassures them.

By being fully present and responsive, you create a supportive space where they feel acknowledged, which opens the door for deeper healing and connection. Be patient and compassionate, understanding that tears, laughter, or even silence are all part of the healing process. By honoring their vulnerability, you create a sacred space where spirit can work through you to bring comfort and connection.

Invite Spirit to Guide the Process

Your role is to be a conduit for Spirit’s messages, and that requires trust and surrender. Release any pressure to perform or meet expectations, both from yourself and your sitter. Spirit knows what is most needed and will guide the process accordingly.

It’s also important to remain flexible. Sometimes, spirit communication flows smoothly, while other times, you may feel blocked or uncertain. In those moments, pause, breathe, and reconnect with your intention. Trust that spirit will bring through what is needed in divine timing.

Additionally, understand that spirit may communicate through a variety of methods — images, feelings, words, or even sensations. You may see a symbol or scene, feel an emotion that isn’t your own, hear a word or phrase internally, or experience a physical sensation that relates to the spirit.

Learning to recognize these subtle messages takes practice. Pay attention to the first impression you receive without over-analyzing. Describe what comes to you as it arrives, even if it doesn’t make sense to you personally. Often, the sitter will find meaning in the details. If a message is unclear, gently ask spirit for clarification or offer it to the sitter for later reflection. Trusting these forms of communication strengthens your connection and enhances the reading’s authenticity. Embrace the uniqueness of each experience and allow the messages to unfold naturally. Inviting spirit to guide the session creates space for authentic, healing connections. Recognize that spirit leads the session. Your role is to be a conduit for their messages. By surrendering to spirit’s wisdom, you allow for a more profound and authentic experience.

Connecting Authentically Begins with You

After each session, take time to reflect. Ask yourself: Did I remain authentic? Did I create a compassionate space? Continuous self-awareness deepens your abilities and strengthens your connections.

Authentic connection is the foundation of meaningful mediumship. By approaching each session with sincerity, openness, and empathy, you not only enhance your work but also offer your sitters a transformative experience.