Do You Need to Use Your Ego More?

Do You Need to Use Your Ego More?

For centuries, women have been told to keep the peace, often at their own expense. Society has trained us to downplay our ego, equating assertiveness with arrogance or selfishness. Meanwhile, men are encouraged to use their ego and are celebrated as confident and successful. It’s time to change this narrative.

In today’s political climate, the stakes are high. The rights we’ve fought so hard to win are being threatened, and equality hangs in the balance. To protect what we have and advocate for what we deserve, we must step into leadership roles and learn to use our ego as a tool for empowerment.

What Is Ego, and Why Does It Matter?

Ego is often misunderstood. It’s not about arrogance or self-importance. At its core, ego is our sense of self—our confidence, our boundaries, and our ability to advocate for ourselves. For women, embracing ego is about reclaiming the power that has been suppressed for generations.

When used with intention, ego becomes a powerful ally. It helps us say no, set boundaries, and stand firm in our values. It’s not about overpowering others but about honoring ourselves. Research shows that ego, when balanced with collaboration, can lead to increased confidence and productivity (source).

Rebuilding Ego After Suppression or Abuse

For many women, the ego has been suppressed for so long it feels nonexistent. Survivors of abusive relationships know this all too well. As a survivor myself, I’ve learned that rebuilding requires courage, self-reflection, and support. Therapy is an invaluable tool, but so is journaling.

Writing down my experiences helped me see patterns. I noticed how my life improved every time I set a boundary. Two affirmations became my guideposts: “I am worthy” and “No is a complete sentence.” These reminders helped me rebuild my sense of self and create a life on my terms.

Rebuilding ego isn’t easy, but it’s worth the work. It’s about understanding why you accepted certain behaviors in the past and deciding to write a new story for your future. Studies on boundary setting and self-assertion emphasize the importance of clear communication and respect for personal values (source).

How to Recognize a Suppressed Ego

You may not realize when your ego is being suppressed. Look for these signs:

• Avoiding conflict, even when it’s necessary.
• Feeling guilty or apologizing excessively.
• Struggling to say no or enforce boundaries.
• Constantly seeking approval or fearing judgment.

If any of these resonate, start small. Practice saying no in low-stakes situations, like declining an unnecessary obligation. Celebrate small wins, like speaking up in a meeting or standing firm on a decision. Over time, these actions build confidence and strengthen your ego.

For more insights on spotting and strengthening the female ego, check out this article on identifying the signs of a healthy ego (source).

Balancing Ego and Compassion

One of the biggest misconceptions is that embracing ego means abandoning compassion. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Ego, when balanced, allows us to be assertive while still remaining empathetic and kind.

Standing firm in your boundaries doesn’t mean you lack compassion—it means you respect yourself as much as you respect others. This balance is key to effective leadership, advocacy, and relationships. Ego and compassion are not opposites; they are complementary forces. A deeper understanding of how ego impacts our interactions can be explored in this research on assertiveness and collaboration (source).

Practical Tips for Embracing Your Ego

Ready to reconnect with your ego? Here are some steps to get started:

• Journaling: Reflect on where you’ve suppressed your needs. Use prompts like, “Where have I said yes when I meant no?” or “What boundaries do I need to enforce?”
• Affirmations: Repeat empowering statements like “I am worthy” or “No is a complete sentence.” Write them where you’ll see them often.
• Boundary-Setting: Practice saying no. For example, “I’m not available to take that on right now.” Stick to your decision without over-explaining.
• Celebrate Wins: Each time you assert yourself, acknowledge it. These moments are proof that you’re reclaiming your power.

Overcoming the Stigma

Let’s address the elephant in the room: women who embrace their ego are often labeled as “bossy” or “too assertive.” These labels are rooted in a society uncomfortable with women standing in their power. But here’s the truth: being assertive doesn’t make you bossy—it makes you a leader.

Reframe these labels as strengths. A “bossy” woman is decisive. A “too assertive” woman is clear about her goals. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your confidence and encourage your growth.

Conclusion: It’s Time to Step Into Your Power

Using your ego isn’t about being selfish—it’s about being whole. It’s about knowing your worth, setting boundaries, and advocating for your rights. As women, we must embrace our ego not just for ourselves but for future generations.

Start small. Say no when you need to. Write down your wins. Repeat your affirmations. Over time, you’ll see how stepping into your power changes everything.