Back in 2018, my husband and I made a choice that raised a few eyebrows: we decided to have a very small wedding. In a city full of beautiful venues and big celebrations, we were married at Plymouth Spiritualist Church in Rochester, New York—a simple, meaningful space that felt just right for us.
We weren’t cutting anything. We were choosing something different: a day centered on presence, connection, and what truly mattered to us. Now, as micro weddings have become more popular, I see more and more couples in Rochester and beyond drawn to that same feeling.
What Is a Micro Wedding?
A micro wedding is a full wedding day experience with a much smaller guest list—often somewhere between 10 and 50 people. You still have a ceremony, a meal, maybe toasts and dancing, but everything is scaled to fit an intimate circle of your closest people.
It’s helpful to distinguish a few terms that often get blended together:
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Elopement
Usually just the couple, an officiant, and perhaps a very small number of witnesses. It often focuses on the ceremony itself, sometimes in a destination setting. -
Micro wedding
A complete wedding day with a deliberately small guest list. Think of it as “all the meaning of a big wedding, shared with only your inner circle.” -
Small wedding
A more traditional wedding format with fewer guests than average, but still larger than a micro wedding.
The heart of a micro wedding isn’t only the number of seats. It’s the intention behind keeping things close, simple, and deeply personal.
Why We Chose a Micro Wedding in 2018
When we were planning our own wedding, we realized quickly that a large event didn’t feel right for us. We had both already experienced big weddings in our first marriages, and we remembered how overwhelming those days felt. The focus seemed to be on managing the event for everyone else, rather than truly being present with each other.
This time, we wanted something different. We wanted real connection with everyone in the room—not just a quick hello at each table. It wasn’t that we couldn’t plan another large celebration; we simply didn’t see the reason to spend a lot of money to recreate a day that didn’t match what we already knew in our hearts.
On our wedding day at Plymouth Spiritualist Church, that choice showed up in very tangible ways. We had a bright red Mattel toy phone at the entrance and asked everyone to leave their real phones behind. Long before “unplugged weddings” became a trend, we wanted our guests fully present with us and with each other.
During the ceremony, our guests sat in a circle around us. We could look into each person’s eyes and truly feel their presence. Instead of scanning a distant crowd, we were held in a small, loving ring of faces we knew and cherished.
It was simple, and it was enough—and in that simplicity, we could actually feel the meaning of the day.
How Micro Weddings Have Evolved
In the years since, micro weddings have moved from “unusual” to a thoughtful, intentional choice. Many couples now are less interested in putting on a performance and more interested in creating a meaningful experience—for themselves and for the people they love.
Some of the shifts I see:
Richer, more intentional details
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With fewer guests, couples often invest more in things that genuinely matter to them: beautiful food, photography, live music, or meaningful décor. The budget stretches differently when you’re planning for 30 people instead of 130.
Personal rituals and storytelling
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Smaller gatherings make it easier to weave in readings, rituals, or traditions that might feel too intimate in a large ballroom. Couples feel freer to do things their own way.
Flexible venues and timing
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Micro weddings open doors to spaces that would be impossible with a large guest count—gardens, private rooms in restaurants, family backyards, historic sites, or weekday celebrations, whether in Rochester, the Finger Lakes, or wherever “home” is for you.
Values‑driven choices
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A shorter guest list can support a desire for simplicity, sustainability, local vendors, or gentler logistics. It’s easier to stay aligned with your values when you’re not managing a huge crowd.
In many ways, couples have discovered that “smaller” doesn’t mean “less special.” It often means “more focused.”
The Spiritual and Emotional Gifts of a Micro Wedding
As someone who holds space for Spirit, energy, and intention, I see micro weddings as especially supportive of the inner experience of the day.
With fewer people in the room:
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It’s easier to stay present.
You can actually feel your breath, hear your partner’s voice, and notice the atmosphere around you. -
Emotions have room to move.
Tears, laughter, and quiet moments don’t have to be rushed along to keep a large program on schedule. -
Conversations go deeper.
Instead of a quick “thank you for coming” at each table, you have time for real connection with your guests.
Smaller circles can also make it easier to honor loved ones in Spirit, incorporate family rituals, or bring forward cultural traditions that mean the most to you. The energy can feel softer, warmer, and more grounded—whether you’re in a historic Rochester church, a lakeside cottage, or a backyard you love.
Is a Micro Wedding Right for You?
A micro wedding isn’t the best choice for everyone—and that’s okay. But it can be helpful to pause and ask yourself a few questions:
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Do you feel more at ease in a small, intimate gathering or in a big, buzzing room?
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Is it important to you to greet every guest personally and spend real time with them?
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Would you rather invest more deeply in a few elements (like photography, food, or music) than spread your resources across a large guest list?
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Are there family or emotional dynamics that might feel gentler in a smaller setting?
Notice how your body responds as you imagine each option. Sometimes clarity comes not from logic, but from how your heart reacts when you picture yourself in that space.
How I Support Couples Who Choose This Path
Today, I work with many couples who are drawn to smaller, more intentional celebrations in Rochester, the Finger Lakes, and beyond. My role is to help you shape a ceremony that feels spiritually grounded, emotionally honest, and true to who you are—whether you have 10 guests or 100.
Micro weddings naturally create more space for personalized vows, meaningful readings, and rituals that reflect your story. Together, we can craft a ceremony that honors your connection, your families, and those in Spirit who are part of your day in their own way.
Whatever size you choose for your wedding, my hope is that it feels like you—not a performance, not a checklist, but a genuine beginning to the life you are creating together.