Do You Suffer from Approval Addiction?
Is approval addiction a real thing? I believe so, and we are not talking about it enough. Receiving validation feels great. However, some develop an addiction to this outside approval, losing the ability to self-motivate. If you rely on others’ approval, you might suffer from approval addiction.
You’re Obsessed with Attention
You thrive on social media, dating sites, or any scenario where you attract attention. The thrill of someone expressing interest in you can even make it hard to settle down with a partner. Have you ever felt uneasy when someone doesn’t respond positively to your ideas? This might be a sign of approval addiction.
You Need Constant Reassurance
In relationships, do you often ask if someone’s upset with you? If you constantly seek reassurance from lovers, friends, or family, it could be due to approval addiction. Can you remember a time when seeking approval led you to do something you didn’t want to do? Reflect on whether this pattern affects your relationships.
You Frequently Highlight Your Achievements
Even if you lack confidence, you might talk about your accomplishments to seem more worthy. This is a way of seeking validation for your perceived awesomeness. Do you often find yourself adjusting your opinions to match those around you? If so, you might be relying on others’ approval to feel valuable.
You’re Focused on Money
If your thoughts revolve around money more than the value you provide, you might be approval-seeking. While money is important, it’s not the only measure of your worth. When was the last time you made a decision solely based on what you wanted, without considering others’ reactions? It’s essential to prioritize your values over external approval.
You Enjoy Name Dropping
Mentioning people you’ve met or worked with who others find important is a sign of insecurity. You don’t need others to make you feel special; you are enough as you are. How do you handle criticism or rejection—do you take it personally, or can you separate it from your self-worth? If rejection feels unbearable, approval addiction might be a factor.
You Choose Friends Based on Wealth or Reputation
Reflect on your friend group—are they chosen for their values or their status? True friendships are built on shared values, not shared finances.
Your Beliefs Shift Based on Your Company
Do your ideas change depending on who you’re with? Do you often find yourself adjusting your opinions to match those around you? It’s okay to have your own fact-based opinions—or none at all if you’re not well-informed on a topic.
You Need to Control Social Situations
If you must control every social event to feel comfortable, approval addiction might be at play. Allowing others to take the lead shows confidence in your thoughts and ideas. Can you let go of control and still feel comfortable in social situations?
You Feed into Your Own Victimhood
When things go wrong, do you blame others instead of seeking solutions within yourself? Feeling safe as a victim might indicate a struggle with approval addiction. How often do you take responsibility for your part in a situation, rather than shifting blame?
Rejection Feels Unbearable
Rejection hurts, but if it makes you feel out of control, approval addiction could be the reason. Remember, rejection often isn’t personal—you might not even be presenting your true self. Can you separate the rejection of an idea or action from rejection of your self-worth?
If you find yourself doing things just to gain acceptance, you may be a people pleaser struggling with approval addiction. To overcome this, define your values and set goals based on them—not others’ approval.
Rejection Makes You Feel Out of Control
If you’ve ever been rejected professionally or personally, you know that it hurts. However, if you have an approval addition, it might make you totally flip out if someone rejects you because you are doing everything (in your mind) to give them what they want, but they don’t want it anyway. If you take this personally, consider that you’re not even really being yourself and this rejection is not personal at all.
If you often find that you’re doing anything that you don’t want to do, only to gain acceptance of a person or group, you may be a people pleaser and even have an approval addiction. To overcome this, you need to figure out who you are, your personal values and design a path to reach your goals based on your own values.
