When Father’s Day is a Struggle

Not everyone will be buying gifts for Father’s Day.  Not everyone looks forward to this day set aside to honor our fathers.   In fact they dread it.   The tv ads leading up to the holiday, the social media tributes other post about their own fathers.   It hurts, I know and I wish it wasn’t so.

I am not alone in this pain.  There are so many who will be hurting on that day. Some who no longer have a father to honor. There will be the men that do not hear from their own children or grandchildren on this day.   Some who never even remember a father figure in their homes. And some like me, who had a father, but my memories are not good ones.

So how can this Father’s Day be different?

Some of you have memories of your father, which are painful. Your father abused you and left you with scars inside that never seem to heal.    When Father’s Day rolled around, instead of happy memories, the most painful ones taunt you.  Others may have regret of things that were never said or a strained relationship that cannot be repaired.   The lack of celebration of this day just brings that pain to the forefront.

First off, stop beating yourself up for feeling hurt and uncomfortable with it.   You are entitled to your feelings and work on them in your own way.   Secondly, you need to forgive yourself.   Only then can you move forward.   Unconditional love of yourself will start the healing.

To find joy in this day be grateful for who you do have in your life.   Their love and support.   This could be a mother, a sibling, a friend, significant other or a mentor.   You are not alone and you are loved.