Giving myself a break

I am giving myself a break.   Yesterday I put my Health Club membership on hold.   I am accepting that my recovery from the first two surgeries is not going as well as I wanted to.  The thing that most people don’t talk about is the cumulative effect of multiple surgeries.  Let’s face it — two surgeries this year is taking its toll.   I have a third surgery coming up in November.

Every day for weeks now I would beat myself up about not getting to the gym and being a slug.   I had two different allergic reactions to medications and it has taken a toll on my body.   Luckily my surgery site healed well and quickly.   I was doing great for awhile and thought I could press on.   The problem was my body needs more rest.   I feel less than, I am doing this without Cancer.   I can’t begin to think how difficult the struggle for women with Cancer.

This is not something that I am easily accepting.   I am a triple Capricorn and patience is not one of my virtues.   The big lesson here has been to give myself the time to heal and rest.   Not everyone springs back from a hysterectomy in a week’s time, in my case it took six weeks.   I beat myself up for it on several occasions, only resulting in my own misery.

The double mastectomy had it’s own set of complications, nothing from that but from a yeast infection that I could not kick and allergic reactions to medication that took me down.   It is something I am prone to and now two medications have been added to my allergy list.   Two weeks with constant hives has been painful.   Eight weeks out and I am exhausted and feeling defeated.

In two weeks I will have reconstruction surgery and I feel unprepared.   I have the clear to have surgery so I am going to rest as much as I can before that and not beat myself up because there were compilations.    We hired someone to clean the house because I just physically can’t keep up with everything.   I am cooking and filling our freezer full of meals during recovery.  We have made a plan for Thanksgiving dinner via takeout and we have taken the pressure of Christmas off of our shoulders.    Each day we will take them as they come and have grace as things go wrong.   The time for beating myself up is over.   It is time to move forward…

Reverend Colleen Irwin is a Spiritual being having a human experience as a Blogger, Wife, Mother, Mentor, Healer and Speaker living in Rochester New York. Colleen, a Natural Born Medium, teaches, lectures and serves Spirit when called upon. She remembers speaking with Spirit as a child and learning how to share this knowledge with others has been an adventure that she captured in her book “Discovering Your Stream”. Colleen has been mentored by Reverend Jack Rudy, and ordained as a Priest in the Order of Melchizedek by the Reverend Dan Chesboro through the Sanctuary of the Beloved. Her trust in Spirit gave her a new title – PREVIVOR. She now uses her platform to educate others about the BRCA genetic mutation and how one can take control of their health and well-being.

One thought on “Giving myself a break

  1. It takes a full year to recover from one surgery. Why do you think you can do it in a few months? Listen to your body and rest, easy exercise and forgive yourself for pushing. Three steps forward and four back when you push like this.

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