The Disconnect I Cannot Ignore
The Disconnect I Cannot Ignore: Finding a Way Forward
I cannot ignore what is happening in history right now. I saw this on social media, and it made me pause: “There has never been a case where a person that banned books is a good guy.” I’m not entirely sure who said it or where it originated, but it resonated with me. It brings me to where we are as a nation right now. I am struggling, like many others, with how my voice can make a difference to help right the mistakes unfolding before us. Answers elude me at this moment, but sitting on the sidelines is not an option. I want to stand for the foundations upon which this nation was founded because I am pretty sure this is not what they had in mind.
Peter Wehner observed in The New York Times that political divides have become barriers that block meaningful dialogue. This idea resonates deeply with me as I grapple with the unwavering support some of my friends, neighbors, colleagues, and even family have for Donald Trump, especially now that he has been called the winner of the election. I wrestle with emotions—hurt, confusion, disappointment, and fear. Knowing they support him leaves me questioning the foundation of our relationships. I write this not to condemn but to express my frustrations, share my truth, and invite reflection on how we might begin to move forward—together.
Immigrant Foundation
This nation was built by immigrants seeking freedom from religious oppression—though this freedom came at the devastating cost of Indigenous peoples, whose lands were taken, and whose cultures were violently suppressed. From the start, injustice, exclusion, and inequality were part of the foundation of the United States. Over time, individuals like Frederick Douglass, Susan B. Anthony, and Elizabeth Cady Stanton fought to correct these foundational wrongs—working for the abolition of slavery and women’s suffrage. Their efforts remind us that freedom and equality require continuous action.
The work continued in the 1960s with leaders like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, and John Lewis, who called for justice, civil rights, and the dignity of all Americans. King’s message of nonviolence and unity challenged the nation to address its past while building a more just future. Lewis’s dedication to nonviolent protest and his pivotal role in the Selma marches remind us that progress often comes at great personal sacrifice. Malcolm X encouraged Black Americans to take pride in their identity and demand equal rights “by any means necessary.” As King said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
New Frontiers
In the years that followed, figures like Ruth Bader Ginsburg ensured the fight for equality expanded to new fronts. As a lawyer, judge, and ultimately a Supreme Court Justice, Ginsburg challenged laws that restricted women’s rights and redefined equality under the law. Yet despite decades of progress, the overturning of Roe v. Wade in 2022 signaled a dramatic erosion of women’s autonomy over their own bodies. The loss of reproductive rights is not an isolated issue—it intersects with race, class, and healthcare access. Women from marginalized communities often face the harshest consequences, reminding us that justice is not just a single-issue fight. Ginsburg warned, “The fight for equality must be fought over and over, in every generation.”
Religious Freedom
Today, the values these leaders fought for are slipping away. We are witnessing the rise of exclusionary ideologies, like Christian nationalism, that seek to impose religious beliefs on others while marginalizing those outside their narrow worldview. Voting rights are also under attack. Since the Supreme Court’s 2013 decision to weaken the Voting Rights Act, many marginalized communities have been disenfranchised. Moreover, the Electoral College, with its origins in compromises that benefited slaveholding states, continues to skew representation and limit the power of individual votes. The Electoral College perpetuates inequality by favoring certain states and diluting the voices of communities already on the margins. Without a fair vote, democracy falters—and those most vulnerable are left without a voice.
The Role of Media and Misinformation
I long for the open-mindedness I once found in Spiritualism, where free thinkers encouraged learning from others to shape personal beliefs. In Spiritualism, we were taught that free thinking was essential—learning from others, even those with differing beliefs, was the foundation of forming a personal belief system. Yet, today, that openness feels lost. Echo chambers have replaced critical thinking, and an “us versus them” mindset has replaced the willingness to “agree to disagree.” This shift deeply disappoints me because it reflects a departure from the principles I once believed would guide us through difficult times.
The role of media and misinformation in shaping today’s divisions cannot be ignored. Certain media outlets amplify fear-based narratives, focusing on conflict rather than solutions, while others promote disinformation to deepen political divides. Social media platforms—designed to capture attention and engagement—further widen these divides by feeding users content that reinforces their existing beliefs. When fear and outrage dominate the conversation, it becomes harder to distinguish fact from fiction and nearly impossible to have meaningful dialogue.
Cannot Ignore Media Bubbles
Many people now live in media bubbles, consuming only information that aligns with their worldview. As Wehner writes, beliefs have hardened into identity, making even gentle questioning feel like a personal attack. Politicians and corporations exploit these divisions, using the media to distract from systemic issues like economic inequality and corporate influence.
In his Atlantic article, Tim Alberta recounts how political loyalties have invaded spaces once reserved for personal reflection, even mourning. Alberta’s experience of being taunted about politics at a house of worship reveals just how far these divisions have penetrated our communities. In this climate, accountability becomes elusive, and truth becomes just another casualty in the culture wars.
Authoritarian leaders have increasingly targeted the press, which was once heralded as a check on power. Attacks on the credibility of the press—such as labeling legitimate journalism as “fake news”—erode public trust in the very institutions meant to hold power to account. A democracy without a free and independent press is vulnerable to manipulation, misinformation, and authoritarianism. Without responsible journalism, we are left with propaganda that serves those in power at the expense of truth and justice.
Promises That Will Not Be Kept
I understand why people feel seen and heard through Trump’s words. The desire to feel represented is real, but I fear it’s a bait-and-switch—hope offered without the intent to deliver solutions. Many of his supporters depend on Social Security and Medicare, yet these very programs are at risk. It stuns me to see union members and Spiritualists—communities rooted in care and solidarity—supporting policies that work against their interests.
We live in a time when corporate interests shape policy, fueling inequality. CEOs promise prosperity, but corporate greed ensures that wealth remains concentrated at the top, leaving others to struggle. Tax cuts and deregulation have overwhelmingly benefited corporations and the wealthy, widening the gap between the richest and everyone else. Wages have stagnated for decades, and the rising cost of living—especially for healthcare, education, and housing—places an unbearable burden on working families.
For years, proponents of “trickle-down economics” have used the narrative to justify these policies, yet time and again, it has failed to deliver meaningful relief to those at the bottom. Instead, it reinforces a system where billionaires grow richer while essential workers—the people who stock grocery shelves, care for the sick, and teach our children—struggle to make ends meet. Meanwhile, corporations lobby for legislation that prioritizes profits over people, stalling minimum wage increases, dismantling environmental protections, and restricting union rights.
This systemic inequality divides society, fostering resentment and desperation. People blame each other or scapegoat vulnerable communities while the real beneficiaries of this system remain shielded from accountability. Corporate-backed leaders use culture wars to distract from the root cause of inequality, deepening divisions instead of offering real solutions. Without structural change, this cycle of greed will continue, leaving future generations to inherit a broken economy built on exploitation and exclusion.
The Weight of Disappointment
I struggle to understand how people I care about can’t see the dangers I believe are so obvious. It’s painful to watch them embrace an ideology that fosters division and marginalizes vulnerable people. With each passing day, the distance between us grows, and the hope for reconciliation fades.
These experiences aren’t new to me. I was the firstborn child in a family that valued boys over girls. From a young age, my family treated me as a second-class citizen in my own home. When I dared to become something more, they ridiculed my ambitions and constantly put me “in my place.” I watched my mother beaten by my father, only to hear my paternal grandfather tell her, “You should keep your opinions to yourself and not anger him.” Her opinion was that he was drinking too much and that they did not have enough money to feed their four children.
These experiences shaped me and made me acutely aware of how people use exclusion, silence, and control to maintain power. Misogyny—the hatred, contempt, or prejudice against women and girls—was present in my family, shaping how I viewed both myself and the world around me. It feels all too familiar now, watching people I care about embrace an ideology that thrives on these same tactics.
My mother, a strong Trump supporter, strained our relationship until her death in 2018. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be if she were still here, defending him today. My favorite aunt, who passed away in 2023, also praised him, unwilling to engage with my perspective. These unresolved tensions have left scars that make rebuilding trust a challenge.
Finding Clarity Amidst Turmoil
I begin by asking myself, What am I doing to find clarity in the midst of this turmoil? It starts with small practices. Allowing myself moments of stillness, seeking out meaningful conversations, journaling my frustrations, and finding joy in simple rituals. I remind myself that I can’t control how others respond, but I can choose how I show up—grounded, present, and compassionate. These personal practices help me create space for healing, both within myself and in my relationships.
I also recognize that many people will begin “waking up” to the reality of what has unfolded—seeing for the first time the harm caused by divisive rhetoric and exclusionary ideologies. When this awakening happens, it will be painful for them as they come to terms with their role in these dynamics. They will need understanding, patience, and guidance as they process this new awareness. It will not be easy, but we have a responsibility to extend empathy, even as we hold people accountable for their actions.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and it may not happen in every relationship. But I believe small moments of empathy—listening without needing to respond, reflecting without defensiveness—can plant the seeds for future healing. Perhaps the way forward lies not in changing others, but in showing up with compassion, even when the path feels uncertain.
We each have a role in shaping the future, and that responsibility includes holding both ourselves and our representatives accountable. Leadership is not a position but an action. The choices we make today will determine the world we leave behind. As Wehner and Alberta remind us, our relationships, communities, and future depend on whether we can reclaim honesty, integrity, and mutual care—before it’s too late.
