Creating A Safe Space: Helping Shut-Down Sitters Open Up
Supporting a Sitter Who Feels Emotionally Shut Down
Creating a safe space for sitters is not something we often talk about. As mediums, we often meet people at vulnerable moments. Some sitters arrive open and ready. Others show up emotionally guarded, unsure if they can trust the process or even themselves. When this happens, it’s not our job to force anything. Instead, we hold space with compassion and presence.
Start with Creating Safe Space
An emotionally shut-down sitter may not even realize they’re closed off. Begin with kindness. Acknowledge that sitting for a reading can feel intimidating. You might say, “Take your time—there’s no pressure here. Just being present is enough.” This allows them to soften without feeling judged.
Let Spirit Lead the Way
When a sitter is reserved, our focus must turn even more intently toward Spirit. Trust the subtle whispers, fleeting images, and distinct feelings that arise. Set a clear intention that Spirit will communicate what is most needed, even if the sitter isn’t actively engaging. Sometimes the most profound shifts happen in the quiet spaces, without immediate verbal confirmation. Allow the energy you receive to speak for itself.
Normalize the Experience
Let them know it’s okay to feel unsure. Share (without going too deeply into stories) that it’s common for people to feel nervous, skeptical, or blocked. Knowing they’re not alone often helps them exhale and lean into trust.
Offer a Reset
If the energy in the room feels heavy or stagnant, don’t hesitate to suggest a gentle pause. A shared deep breath can instantly shift the atmosphere. You might also offer a simple grounding technique, such as inviting the sitter to gently press their feet flat on the floor and visualize roots extending into the earth. Even a brief moment of silence, acknowledging Spirit’s presence, can create a necessary reset.
Reflect, Don’t Rescue
It’s tempting to fill in the blanks or compensate for their discomfort, but it’s more powerful to simply reflect what’s coming through. Trust the sitter’s process. Trust Spirit. And trust yourself.
Sometimes, the biggest healing doesn’t look dramatic. It looks like a single tear. A softened jaw. A nod at the very end. I often remind mediums that we’re sometimes just planting the seed. We may not be there when it blooms—but that doesn’t make it any less sacred. Trust that Spirit knows what’s needed, even if the impact isn’t immediate or visible.
Closing With Care
If a connection doesn’t feel fully open, honor the energy that was present and close the session with reverence. You have still held sacred space. I often say, “Thank you for being willing to sit with Spirit today. Messages unfold in their own time, and your presence here was important.” A gentle phrase like this acknowledges the effort it takes for someone to show up, especially when they’re guarded.
You might also offer a simple physical gesture that softens the moment. I sometimes ask, “Would it be okay if I offered you a hug from your loved one?” That small, symbolic act can provide the comfort they didn’t know they needed—and it helps close the energetic loop for both of us.
Remember, a reading doesn’t need to feel perfect to be meaningful. Sometimes our role is simply to remind someone they’re not alone. That, in itself, is enough.
After the Reading: Self-Care for the Medium
Holding space for someone who remains emotionally shut down can be draining. Even with the best boundaries, their resistance can linger in your energy field. Take a few moments to release the session. Step outside, stretch, drink water, or do a quick grounding practice. For me, eating a Life Saver between readings shifts my focus and brings me back to the present.
Honor your own emotional state, too. You showed up, you listened and you trusted Spirit. That deserves care.
Have you ever held space for someone who was emotionally guarded? What helped them feel safe—and what helped you reset afterward? I’d love to hear your insights.
