Someone out there needs to hear this. Principle 8 has come into focus to me recently in so many ways that I cannot miss the signs. For those of you that are not Spiritualists, this principle states:
We affirm that the doorway to reformation is never closed against any soul here or hereafter.
Or more simply put – Everyday is a new beginning. That we can start fresh. Too often we take this to extremes. And that is not always healthy.
So why Principle 8 Now?
For the longest time I took that in a way that was not exactly healthy for me. I thought that this meant that I had to forgive and forget. That isn’t really what it means. What it means that someone can do horrible things to you and they have the opportunity to change for the better. It doesn’t mean that they have to be in your life. The fresh start can and often is without the person that harmed you.
Forgiveness is an interesting thing. It really isn’t for the person who did something bad to you. It is for you. To find a way to move beyond the transgression. It rarely means things go back to the way they were. It is a point that you move forward from the situation that hurt you. Where you wish that person well, you hold no anger and go forward.
I look back and see several situations that have happened over the years. Each time I felt that I had to let them back into my life. That they had an opportunity for redemption with me. All this time not realizing that it doesn’t have to be with me.
Accepting that fact has made it a lot easier for me. I understand now, that they had to go in a different direction. That there were important lessons they needed to learn about Spiritualism, truth, friendship, leadership, trust, and respect. That I was not part of that journey.
Boundaries Protect You
I have learned that toxic people love drama and hurting people because it feeds their ego, and it also makes sure that people are always thinking about them. Having strong boundaries make life easier for you. The principles set forth in Spiritualism are there to guide us. They are meant for our own personal development within the community. It is okay to let someone go from our lives and wish them well. To hope that at some point they learn from their mistakes and that they do better. It just doesn’t have to be with me. Or with you for that matter.