Religion versus Spirituality is something a lot of people are questioning now. Just look at how this nation is being divided. This is pretty great talk between Organized Religion and Spirituality. There is a bit of a revolution in our community right now. Religious people who just blindly follow are slowing reducing in ranks. Those that think for themselves will grow and conflicts will arise.
Spirituality is not about blind faith and more about personal growth. The concept of that they are two different things is a hard one for many people. There is a great analogy — Religion is Blockbuster; Spiritualism is Netflix. The concept you must go to Religion to connect where as in Spiritualism it comes directly to you.
I get it, it is tough. We are brought up with a certain construct of how things should be. Over time we learn and grown and that does not work for us. Our world is changing, and what many knew is right are thinking for themselves. It no longer feels right.
Here is a vide I found that might just help you with the Spiritual conflicts you may be dealing with. It is my hope that this helps you. It is about making life better not only for ourselves but everyone.