Control Ego Fear First Spiritualist Church of Erie Holidays Inspirational Talks Regret Spiritual Awakening
Here are my notes for this talk – Amazingly there are just a few places that I do not have details for this talk.
My Spiritual Awakening Transformation
Happy Easter or as my family views it – game prep day for Dyngus Day. Easter is about rebirth and renewal. Seems the time to talk about spiritual awakening. I am risking being vulnerable, exposed and open. Something that ten years ago i would have never done.
Spiritual awakening changes everything for the person going through it. It strips away every core belief you have; it changes you in ways you cannot even conceive at the time you start the journey.
My spiritual journey started in 2010, in august I lost a business mentor and my best friend within 10 days of each other. The day after my best friend died, I saw “eat, pray, love” with another mentor who taught me so much about running a non-profit organization.
That movie was where this all started. The next couple of years were a haze for me. A series of losses, crazy twists and turns made me a bitter angry woman. One so tightly wound that i didn’t even like being around me. I was so closed down and resolved that happiness was all about was work success. I couldn’t be further from the truth…
My awakening didn’t happen for another 4 years, I controlled so tightly my environment and emotions until a trip to Lily Dale opened the flood gates to what i had ben desperately trying to keep shut. My friend Jennifer was there that day. A completely random series of events brought me to the place I needed to be.
Finally feeling the emotions that avoided for close to 40 years. I turned my life upside down and in the past two years i have had to find balance and who I am. What i like and what my purpose is. I am still trying to figure it out, but perhaps i can help someone by sharing my story.
As Brene Brown said we need to be authentic and let our true selves be seen. Love with our whole hearts even when there is not a guarantee. Believe that we are enough. Only then can we find that joy we are searching for.
Expanding your perception and changing the way you work and love. If you cannot measure it — it doesn’t exist. Research is all about control and predict. The people who have a strong sense of loving and belonging — believed it.
Courage to be imperfect, compassion with themselves and they have connection as a result of authenticity. Vulnerability made them beautiful and necessary. The truth is we cannot numb fear & vulnerability feelings without numbing gratitude, joy and happy.
Spiritual awakening – a life redefined
These steps may go in the order i have here, or they may happen differently for you. What I have learned is that you must go through them to be happy.
Find like minded people who believe in you
Don’t be afraid to let go of people, places and things that no longer suit your purpose. The process of letting go of them, you will find the universe doesn’t like a void. You will find new people who will enrich your life.
Learn to be Grateful
Let Go of Control
You are not alone – Find help along the way
Elizabeth gilbert of “eat, pray, love” fame had an awesome ted talk that made me think about our spiritual connection and genius. She explained that the ancient Greeks and Romans considered genius not something connected to the person, but rather something outside oneself. So the human with the gift could not take complete credit for what they had done; so if your work was bad it also wasn’t your fault. That with the onset of renaissance that genius was considered part of the person. Perhaps setting the fragile human ego for break down. I listened to this talk over and over again.
I had a realization and i think you may find it easier when you deal with Spirit. What if you believe that your extraordinary gift is on loan to you and that it is to be passed along to someone else? That you do something that is amazing and that is it? Remember to be humble never forget that this is a gift, you are only a channel. The moment you begin to believe you are something special; that what you do is
Trust that spirit is guiding you
Your past does not define your future
Stop comparing your journey with others
Live in curiosity – try something different
When 2015 started i saw this idea on Twitter – #threewords; so listening to my gut i decided to pick three words of my own and give it a try.
Fearless, compassion and persistence
So with 2016 approached i looked back and saw how three words changed my life. You have to be fearless to take the leap of faith. You have to be fearless to take that first opportunity to stand at inspirational stump and give a message for the very first time. You have to be fearless to say no more. You have to be fearless in wanting to serve spirit. You have to be fearless in the face of change.
Persistence. Well that is a word that applies to the other two i chose. As i see it, it amplifies the other two words. I have had to be persistent to be fearless. I have had to persist to find a way to love myself unconditionally. I have had to be persistent to stop and look at things from someone else’s point of view. I have to persist to find the right teachers to help me understand. I have had to persist even though i wanted to give up.
Compassion has come in a couple of ways. Most of you would think about it for others, and it is important. One of the most important things as a human we can do is ministry of presence. To be there for someone when they need you. Compassion also taught me that it is more important that i give it to myself. Nobody is harder on me than i am. Every critical comment someone would make to me i would internalize and agonize over.
Stop worring about tomorrow find your life purpose
1. Who you are?
2. What do you do?
3. Who do you do it for?
4. What do they want or need?
5. How do they transform as a result of what you give them?
I am colleen, i am a healer and a medium for those people who need closure to heal so they can move forward with their lives and in turn be the best that they can be. It is as easy as that. Your turn…. Your Life Purpose in 5 Minutes or less
Have faith over fear
Pay it forward
Who here is a student medium. I am going to take some pressure off of you. Drop the student in your title – you are a medium! Some of the best mentors are always students. You may never pay the person who helped you along the way back directly. That is ok. We all know that someday you will be that mentor to someone else. That helping you is paying the person who helped you. If we are lucky, we will get to watch it happen first hand.
For a moment think about this – what if in a parallel universe that you are giving this talk and i am the one sitting in your seat? And in another universe we are sitting together over there saying “omg this is the worst lecture ever” and what if i am you sitting watching me beaming with pride because you have watched my journey to this moment and have witnessed the transformation? Knowing that it was just a seed you planted that helped me get to this moment. That is a whole other talk that i am still grasping with…
Difference between a master and a beginner? The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried. Don’t discredit the planting of a seed. What if all you have is i have a woman and she is showing you cherry jello? How could that help a person? Maybe it is nothing to you. But to the person it is meant for? It may be important.
Just show up and be part of this process. Stop for a moment, let this process flow through you. Accept that we are one with this gift and that is it not inherently ours but that for a moment or two we are able to let god shine through us.
On the other side of a spiritual awakening; i can tell you it is worth it. I will also admit it just plain sucks going through it. Nobody walks into a spiritual awakening knowing what to expect. It is messy, emotional and some days you will question your sanity. The good news – you survive it. You are stronger and more beautiful as a result.